Bar Mitzvah means "Son of the Commandment." In Reform Synagogues like ours, most boys and girls become Bar (or ‘Bat’ for girls) Mitzvah around/after their 13th birthday.
It will be in the sanctuary of our Synagogue. Usually the service would be led by the Rabbi, but she’s on sabbatical, so a couple of our lay-leaders will be leading the service from the bimah - the reading desk.
When you arrive at the building, there will be some members of the community on ‘security’ - we’re also hoping to have one of us outside, to welcome you. If we aren't out there and those on security ask your name, please don’t be offended - they’re just trying to keep the congregation safe.
Once you’re in the building, there’s a coat rack in the foyer, and bathrooms too, with the sanctuary straight ahead. There will be a basket with kippot (head coverings for men - explained later!) on a table in the foyer - please do take one and pop it on your head. There will also be a table for your Food Bank donations. Once in the actual sanctuary, someone will offer you a siddur - a prayer book, and then you’re free to sit wherever you feel comfortable. If you need to move a chair to accommodate your group, please do, but we do need to keep enough space to walk around the outside and down the aisles as part of the service.
In our community, each Bar/Bat Mitzvah child will do slightly different things depending on them. Some children will pretty much lead the whole service, while others will only read one blessing. Zachary intends to lead some of the community blessings - some in Hebrew, some in English. Then the main part of the service that Zachary intends to do is to read the final reading for the day from the Torah scroll, in Hebrew. Unlike the prayer books, the Torah scroll is only in Hebrew, and to make things trickier, it doesn't have any vowels or punctuation: Not even the chapter or verse numbers are marked, so sometimes just finding the starting point within the scroll can be a bit tricky!
Our prayer books contain Hebrew and English. We swap between reading some prayers/blessings in Hebrew, and some in English. At the bottom of each page in the prayer book there are bits of extra information and readings that you may find interesting. We try to announce page numbers every so often to help everyone know where we are!
Yes. There are opportunities for family members and friends to do mitzvot - honours. These include things like reciting the Torah blessings in Hebrew, carrying and elevating the Torah, and opening and closing the Ark in which the Torah scrolls are kept.
No. It’s completely your choice what you participate in. If you like a tune, you can follow along the transliterated Hebrew, or simply ‘la’ along! Equally, lots of the service will be in English, and you're welcome to read along if you wish.
Although we don’t expect you to vocally join in with anything you’re not comfortable with, we would appreciate you standing up when the congregation stands (if you’re physically able to), as a sign of respect.
Yes! In our community, like most Reform communities, most of the Mitzvot need to be carried out by Jewish people, but there are some that we welcome non-Jewish people to do. For example, reading a study passage, reading a community prayer, or coming up to the bimah when a blessing is being recited.
There is no definite answer to this, but it’s likely to be around an hour and a half. There are bathrooms just off the foyer. If you think your children will find the service a bit long, they’re welcome to bring a book/something non-electronic and quiet to play with - Zachary and Alicia used to bring Lego magazines and read/play with the mini Lego sets during services! If needed, you can also bring vegetarian snacks to keep them occupied.
It’s a special occasion for us, so we’ll be dressed accordingly. Max will be wearing a suit (no tie), and Laura & Alicia will probably be in dresses. But we want our guests to be comfortable too, so think of what you’d wear to a Christening or an afternoon party and you should feel appropriately dressed! And for the kids - whatever they’re comfortable in.
You’ll see that Jewish men (and from today, Zachary!) along with some ladies who choose to, will be wearing a tallit - a prayer shawl that is symbolic of having taken on the mitzvot of following the commandments.
All men are required to wear a kippah (a head covering, pronounced kee-pa) when in the sanctuary. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification like the tallit, but is an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the sacred space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in a church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect. We will have a basket of kippot (plural for kippah) in the foyer as you enter, and some spares in the main sanctuary.
Feel free to keep your kippah as a keepsake. But don't forget to bring it with you to the evening party!
Some people will get changed before the evening party, some won't - it's your choice. But something you can dance in would be good!
Yes! Then there’ll be a light buffet lunch.
However, directly after the service there will be a series of blessings. First you’ll be offered a small glass of wine or grape juice (you can decline!) and before you drink it, a blessing will be said. Then a piece of challah (sweet Shabbat bread) will be offered, again with a short blessing before eating it.
Please wait until after the blessings have finished before drinking or eating.
Then we'll move over to the buffet lunch. Stay for as long or little as you like!